21. climbing

Today i went to Yang-Ming mountain with haopo.

We have to prepare for the trip of snow mountain this thursday.

The shiaoyukeng way was not easy for me cause it is not very flat...

but anyway we did it.

We spent 1.5 hr to climb to the top.

Scenery was beautiful, and air was cold and clean.

The trip of snow mountain could be more difficult,

but i believe i can conquer it too.

Then, we went to gongguan and had lunch with many friends,

including shufang.

She was back from Lyon and Australia at Dec. 2009,

but she didn't finish her master degree.

I admire her courage,

not only to go to France for master by herself,

but also to decide to give up and come back.

I would not happy to hear this if i were still young,

and i would think that's too regretful to come back without any objective things,

such as a certification or diploma.

It would sound like nobody knows you have been to France.

But now, i know i have no need, either right, to judge it.

Something is inside her heart,

and only she knows what she got from this experience.

I want to go to France too,

to study French, to know well about this country, to clear myself...

there is only me who knows what i want to get from this trip.

That is not very hard.

Just decide, and do it.

18. where i am

Everywhere is silent.
There is only my voice.
I try so hard not to hear others' noise,
and i walk along in my way.

Yesterday my director told me she wants to give me a promotion next year.
She wants a chief pharmacist of science,
and she said i am the best choice here.
Actually i am very glad to hear this,
and as a human being, i am willing to be respected.
Finally after many years of efforts,
there is somebody giving me a practical approvement.

So i am thankful for this
but in the other hand
i don't want to give up my dream of freedom in order to gain this.
The grown-ups just cannot understand my reason
actaully my mind is full of choas, too..
is this truly a right decision?
My career, my lifetime and my dream
what is more important?

5. I felt sad sometimes

There is too many things i cannot control
such as my mind
sometimes i felt sad, felt hopeless
but i can do few things about that

i like lingustics
cause when using different langauages,
i can explore the things i want to hide,
and i can read the things others leaked when they were unguarded.
It's so contradictory but it is very intersting. isn't it?
Why i explore the things i want to hide?
Why i like to figure out the things others didn't mention to tell?
In fact, we all want to be understood and understand others,
but in the same time, we all hate and scare to be misunderstood.

possibly is not an incredible film which can lasts forever
but it do affect me someway.
Nicole kidman said i believe in communication, so i stand here,
rather than stand at the road with the gun.
Humanity is more believable than violency,
and it should be.
Though i have been gone through some situation which people didn't communicate,
I have to trust the ones i love,
Or i have to give up the love.
That's the way to keep anyone around me safe.