知道沒有誰非要體諒我
可是我累得想哭
卻一滴眼淚也流不出來
已經累得連流淚的ATP都沒有了吧
麻木得沒辦法思考
重新體驗躺在床上卻沒辦法睡的感覺
那感覺在逼迫我
我好像<新人皮燈籠>裡那個被關在燈籠裡的靈魂
左衝右突 卻沒辦法掙脫
只能催眠自己:
不能抱怨不能抱怨不能抱怨
雖然我每天都很想抓狂
可是我不能抱怨
事情還是要做 我還是要堅強起來去面對一切
我不想哭，不想示弱，不想依賴
終究依賴了誰還是有一天要受傷的
6/24/2010
82. Harder future
It's 82 days after "the day."
I am a little surprise about how fast the time pass.
In these days,
I went to the snow mountain (3 days) and Angkor (7 days) with Haopo.
That are both good trips.
Haopo took many photos and also wrote some articles about the two beautiful sites,
but I didn't really do something about these memories.
Maybe it's a little pity?
After the trips, I came back to work, silently and directly.
Work load is so high that i can hardly imagine.
However, in the same time, i started to think about "the future"...
It's so difficult to make my mind.
To get another degree may be a satisfying purpose to my parents and some other people who care about me,
so i try to do some preparation for appling the school at London.
But in the other side of my heart,
I cannot stop asking myself "WHY?"
Why i do this?
Is this what i am really waiting for?
Taking the IELTS exam is good.
I want to get this score, and also I like to study foreign languages.
(Though i admire french far more than english in these years)
The teachers and courses seem charming to me too.
But, what i am going to do after getting the results of IELTS...?
I haven't decided yet.
Also, thinking about haopo's plan to study or work aboard,
I feel confused and nervous.
Shall i prepare something for that?
Maybe that's too far away freom here. (... ?)
I am a little surprise about how fast the time pass.
In these days,
I went to the snow mountain (3 days) and Angkor (7 days) with Haopo.
That are both good trips.
Haopo took many photos and also wrote some articles about the two beautiful sites,
but I didn't really do something about these memories.
Maybe it's a little pity?
After the trips, I came back to work, silently and directly.
Work load is so high that i can hardly imagine.
However, in the same time, i started to think about "the future"...
It's so difficult to make my mind.
To get another degree may be a satisfying purpose to my parents and some other people who care about me,
so i try to do some preparation for appling the school at London.
But in the other side of my heart,
I cannot stop asking myself "WHY?"
Why i do this?
Is this what i am really waiting for?
Taking the IELTS exam is good.
I want to get this score, and also I like to study foreign languages.
(Though i admire french far more than english in these years)
The teachers and courses seem charming to me too.
But, what i am going to do after getting the results of IELTS...?
I haven't decided yet.
Also, thinking about haopo's plan to study or work aboard,
I feel confused and nervous.
Shall i prepare something for that?
Maybe that's too far away freom here. (... ?)