How difficult a breaking up could be?

That's a question mark.
However, i don't want to know the answer.

Today, my director send me an email,
talking about the final report of mid to long term plan of our department this year she wrote.
She put me in two trainning program overseas at 2011 and 2012.
I responded to her, telling her i appreciated it and i would think it over.

Actually i've prepared to tell her i would quit next year,
but it has been such a long time.
I don't have the true courage to discuss this with her.
I could imagine what words she would say..

She did her best to keep me here.

She has been treated me very well, and i don't want to let her down.

To be honest, I've been always the one who don't want to let anybody down.
Kind of hypocrite? ...
The tryth is I don't like to see anyone be disappointed because of me.
I'd like everybody happy.
That's truly difficult and too innocent, Dare to dream, isn't it?
Maybe the first thing i should learn is being myself,
not working so hard to fit me in other's window.